New Thoughts

My soul-searching continues as I seek wisdom about the second transplant. However, yesterday I had a breakthrough (on many levels) after talking and praying with others.

By all accounts available to me, I am in remission. This will be confirmed, I'm certain, when I return to MD Anderson on May 7th. I found out from Dr. Lindsay, a PA I've had extensive talks with from the transplant team at MDA, that before doing an allo they conduct tests to re-stage me. In other words, to find out where I stand with the cancer.

For this, Lindsay told me I'll go through all the tests I've gone through before: blood, bone marrow biopsy, and MRI or some other scan most likely. I've decided that when they tell me I'm in remission, I'll find out what treatment, if any, they would further suggest whether its the transplant or whatever.

Then, I will make my decision concerning the transplant. Though, in all honesty, I have sought peace concerning the 2nd transplant (the allo,) I must admit it has been fleeting. Once in awhile, since I started to reconsider the 2nd transplant, I've felt moments of peace..glimpses of the good that doing such a procedure would eventually do. But I often have greater peace when I think of all I've already done with the auto-transplant.

The word from MD Anderson is basically that I must "go with my gut." For they cannot say--based on the "good" but not "great" results of the trial--that this tandem auto/allo is the way to go. And the mortality rate, I know, makes them balk at being completely supportive of any decision I make either way. Only Dr. Popat ever said that he would have his own daughter do this treatment, if she needed it.

Know this for certain: whatever choice I make, I know it will be the right one.

This weekend I'm going to see a pastor named Michael Reid who has laid hands on thousands of people who've gotten well. I was going to go see him at Thanksgiving last year, but decided instead that I needed to be with my family. His main ministry is in England, but he spends a couple of weeks throughout the year in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I felt I should call and try to set up another meeting. I left a message on an answering machine, but received within the hour a return call from his wife, Ruth, who makes all of his appointments.

We talked for almost an hour! She told me about the breast cancer she was diagnosed with in 1988. This was right before they were to go to Argentina for several months of ministry with various churches. They decided to believe she'd been healed and go on to Argentina. Once there, Ruth was tested to make sure she'd been healed, but it turned out that the cancer was still there. So she started treatment in Argentina. She had chemotherapy and radiation which "nearly killed her," as she said, until Michael returned to England so as to get the house in order for her when he returned to bring here back home. Just as he was about to come and get her from Argentina, he was struck suddenly with influenza B. Forced to go to the hospital where he was quarantined for several weeks, Ruth remained in Argentina and completed her treatment with strangers caring for her. Finally, Michael was well enough, and he returned to bring her home. By this time, Ruth had pretty much done all of her treatment in Argentina.

She has been cancer-free for 20 years since then. During a check-up with her doctor at home, the doctor asked her if she wanted to know why she'd had to have her chemotherapy and radiation in Argentina. It turns out that this sort of aggressive treatment with the specific infusions, etc. she was given was not allowed in England at the time. Argentina would have been one of the few places in the world where she could have been treated so aggressively at that time.

So they believe that God works many different ways to heal a person. I thought this to be a very wise approach. And that is what attracted me to Michael Reid and his ministry.