Fireworks

Last night Jacob and I could hear a fireworks show, but we were too tired to do more than look out from the balcony to see what part of the sky they were displaying. I think they must be over Reliant Stadium, which I think can be seen from the roof of the parking garage. If it happens again tonight, I'm determined to figure out where they can be seen. It is Fourth of July weekend after all.

I woke up feeling pretty good and more energetic thanks to my infusion of red blood cells yesterday. The Reid's church in England I know is praying for me because Ruth Reid has sent me a couple of e-mails asking how I'm doing. I asked for prayer about different things. Mostly what I've already been asking all of you to pray for.

Finding ways to occupy my time is something of a struggle these days. Kirk did bring a Russian translation I've been working on for my Ph.D., but I haven't had the energy until (perhaps) now to put some time into it. There's always housekeeping types of things to do, as well. I've considered starting on a couple of sonnets, which I feel may be just the thing. I'd love to go walk the mall, but I know that it will be incredibly busy this weekend of the 4th. People just won't be able to stay away when the Galleria is having a sale. Lots of people unfortunately means lots of germs, so I'll have to stay home.

Thanks to Chris (my new friend here in Houston) I've got a lot of CD's to listen to. She and Kathy (our mutual friend in Frisco) are praying for me, as are tons of other people. If I were to list them all, I know I wouldn't be able to do it without missing a name. Thanks again to all of you who are praying.

There's a really great pool on the ground floor of our apartment building. I'll probably get Jacob to go swimming, so he can have some exercise.

A VERY Long Day

It was a very long day today at the clinic. I had to go in at 8AM and have blood drawn every hour or so until 4:30PM! I know now why I was starting to feel better. My white blood count had gone up to 2.4, which is quite a leap from 2.0. All other counts were good as well, including the Magnesium. But my red blood went down too far and I had to receive a unit of blood. They were so careful with matching it to my blood that it took 2 hours for them to get it to me. Then it took 2 hours for me to take it by IV. Jacob and I did not leave until 5:30PM.

Oddly enough, I had enough energy (perhaps because of the red blood) to stop and rent a movie for us to watch. I felt Jacob deserved some kind of fun since he was in the room with me the entire time...except when he'd go to the cafe for food. My appetite was better, but I feel like a clothes hanger that needs straightening. I sat in bed that long without the energy to get up except to go to the bathroom.

My doctors assure me that I am doing very well and that these things are all part of the process I am going through. I just praise God mom is coming Sunday and that I don't have to go in for 3 whole days. I am also blessed that Kirk is coming Wednesday. I need him more than I thought. There's just no one like him for reassurance.

Jacob has been such a good caregiver. He just did the dishes after feeding me a decent dinner. He brought me Gatorade today, though I forgot to ask him to get it. He's such a good boy. I feel blessed to have him, too.

Another Update

The doctors say I'm doing great. The magnesium went back to the low end of normal yesterday! That means I can stop at taking only four tablets of Magnesium a day. This is good since the tablets have such a dastardly effect on my system. And my other counts are good enough. I would like to see my red blood counts going up more, then I would not feel so tired. Please pray for that.

I still have concerns for a caregiver in the month of August. Please pray concerning that. And please pray that Kirk's work situation is blessed with lots of sales and other unspoken concerns.

Today is my day off. It sure is nice. Then I'll have the whole weekend off. Mom comes Sunday.

I'm sleeping well. Really nothing bad to report.

Quick Update

A praying friend whom I had not yet met in person just left the apartment. It was so great meeting her, since I've prayed and interacted with her on e-mail so many times. She traveled in Houston traffic to get here. But I'm so glad she came. It was a bright and shining light in the midst of what sometimes feels confusing and uncertain. We prayed, but mostly we talked about our backgrounds. Jacob stayed the whole time, talking with her too.

Kirk's first business flight was unexpectedly canceled (after hours of trying to make it work in the airport.) The reason: weather...somewhere between Dallas and his destination. But I'm not worried, since I've been praying for this meeting to go smoothly etc. for several days now. I know there is some reason he cannot be there physically. Two others from the company were close enough to actually be there for the meeting. He and the other two will participate from the Dallas office on a conference call. Pray that the meeting results is prosperous for all concerned.

My counts are pretty good. They still need to come up, though my doctors are not worried at all. I even went to physical therapy today. You're not supposed to be released to do that unless your "well enough." I was evaluated by a very nice physical therapist and ended up doing some exercise before it was time to go back up. The whole time I was, of course, attached to an IV pole. I was amazed at what I was able to do. And no nap was needed upon my return home! I'll go back Friday.

I am still sleeping very well, and this helps a lot when it comes to feeling peaceful about things. Jacob is doing a great job at being my caregiver. He does all the dishes regularly and makes sure I eat good things. I'm so proud of him. I know it'll be even more fun when Mom comes on Sunday.

Please pray for our apartment situation. We are not certain if the new insurance will pay for lodging. If it does not, we'll need to move into a "church apartment." There is a form we wanted faxed yesterday from Dr. Popat's office, but they lost the first page that had the fax number on it. It should go out in the morning. This will help us figure out what our next move will be.

Thanks for all of your prayers. My Magnesium hovers now around normal, but please pray it holds there so I don't have to take any more Magnesium in whatever form.

Departures, Arrivals and Lone Star Pride

Yesterday was Kirk's last full day here for the next 10 days, so we crammed in all the fun and food preparation possible. I wasn't up to or able to take a walk through the galleria, nor could I see a movie in the theater due to my counts being below normal. But we did watch a couple of DVD's. One of them I like more than the others: Music and Lyrics. I just loved the parody 80's group performance they called "Pop!"

Kirk and I also went for a car ride around the city. Our intention was to drive through the River Oaks neighborhood I'd heard about from friends. But first we found ourselves in the middle of Lone Star Pride festivities. I think every gay and lesbian couple within a 500 mile radius of Houston were lining the streets in preparation for a parade. Three young'uns were even dressed as Adam and Adam and Eve, but after the Fall as they wore nothing but ivy. God tried to dampen their jollity with a continual rain, but it t'were for nought. Everyone partied on.

Once we got out of that traffic snag, we employed the trusty (most of the time) GPS to find River Oaks Country Club. I was expecting to see grand houses, but I think their occupants were too "old money" for that. Maybe it was the rain, but these giant mansions seemed tired.

Jacob flies into Houston today at 12:30PM. I'm looking forward to seeing him, even though I know Kirk will be leaving soon after. Jacob will be the official heat and eat person, since Kirk spent much of the day cooking so that we'd have all we needed.

I am sleeping much better these days, thanks to your prayers and God. My only prayer request now is for my system to stop giving me fits over the Magnesium tablets I take each day.

It's been a relaxing weekend. Hope yours was, too!

A Weekend of Freedom

Having to go in Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays only is great. This is my first weekend since the transplant June 5th that I've just stayed home, doing an infusion of Mg with a small pump that fits in a zippered pouch about the size of a tummy pack. This along with sleeping well last night and having Kirk here have helped my mood so much. What a relief! Friday was such a busy day at the outpatient clinic on the 10th floor. The whole time I was there one person after another came by. One to give me a new pill; another to flush one of my lines that wasn't working. So, needless to say, the time went by a bit faster than usual.

Today, Kirk and I are going to prepare food for this next week. Jacob will be here Sunday, but there won't be any other adults again until Mom returns on July 1st. We want to make some stew and a potato salad in batches big enough to eat all week, if necessary. There will be a visit from a new friend that I pray with a lot on Tuesday, but that's it. Thursday would be a great day for anyone else who wanted to visit, mainly for moral support.

I know that many of you have been following this blog to pray for me. You should know that God has heard you and all the good things I've been experiencing are directly related to your petitions. I thank the Lord for you.

If I have any other prayer requests, it is for continued stress-reduction for Kirk at work. I am also thinking of August when my caregiver schedule leaves me alone Mondays through Thursdays. I know that by then my needs will have changed from what they are now. However, I'm fairly certain even a short visit in the early or late afternoon will help to raise my spirits on those days. This as well as making sure I have things to eat, since going to the store is not always easy when avoiding crowds is the mandate from MD Anderson. Please pray concerning this. I'm not supposed to go further than 30 minutes from MD Anderson, but I bet by August they'll let me loose a bit more. So maybe I'll be coming to see you, if you live in this area.

A Special Thanks to My Mom

My mom returned to Santa Fe, NM yesterday. She did so much for me while she was here that I really wanted to thank her publicly. While she was here, I was going through the most difficult part of this allo transplant. She took care of my every need. Cooking, doing dishes and laundry, and just being there. Every day she took me to my appointments, sat with me in waiting rooms, and provided moral support at every turn. I feel so blessed and lucky to have such a great mom.

She even made sure Kirk and I had lots of different healthy and delicious foods to heat and eat. I felt how especially great that was yesterday afternoon when I drove myself home for the first time, arriving home hungry and ready for dinner. Everything was at the ready. I just put the pot of chicken on to heat and voila...dinner! I really needed that because I was almost too hungry to make anything!

I'm going to miss her quiet talks with me, watching Family Feud on television and just having her around. She's got so much to offer. She's coming back July 1 for another week when Jacob is here. I look forward to all that we'll be able to do then when I'm feeling even better than I feel now.

Kirk is here now. I can hear him talking on the phone for his work. It was so great last night having him back by my side on the bed. I sure do miss his sweet face, I can tell you! But he's here now and all's well. I wish he could be here all the time, but I'm just going to enjoy it while he's here.

I woke up feeling pretty good this morning. I'm still not sleeping to well, though I took a Benadryl to help in that direction. I woke up feeling a little achy, probably from walking again yesterday. There are several flights of stairs to and from our apartment. My muscles haven't used like that since before two or three weeks ago. Once I start moving around, the aches pretty much go away...so it's all good.

My only prayers needs right now are for better sleep, relaxation on days off and for Kirk (who's under some pretty high stress).

Thank you for your prayers so far!

Down to a Three-Day Schedule

Wonder of wonders. I am now officially on a three-day schedule. Starting next week I will go in to the outpatient clinic (sounds oxymoronic, huh?) only on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. My next appointment is Friday and no weekend visit. Kirk comes in tonight (actually in about 5 minutes.) Then Jacob on Sunday.

I feel so blessed. My "probation" of treatment has been reduced. Thank you, Jesus!

Thank those of you who prayed for the Magnesium in my body to rise because it did. I am now officially in the low end of the "normal" range. From 1.6 to 1.8. I attribute this to your prayers and an inspiration (from the Lord, I'm sure) to eat more greens, almonds and Mg-fortified soy drinks. I am also taking the Mg Oxide pills only with food. (The other night I took one very late at night on an empty stomach and woke up nauseated....)

I am doing very well. Counts are rising. Things are very good.

Apparently, the Mg will be an issue as long as I'm on Cyclosporine, the immune suppresent I'm taking. I'll taper off of that eventually and Mg will not be an issue.

The white blood count went back down, but that is a normal fluctuation. Pray for continued raising of my "counts," since I am eager to have a healthy immune system to the best of my ability until I'm off the Cyclosporine.

Lots to Report

Woke up this morning feeling nauseated. It got me down for a bit, until I remembered that I had taken a "lone" Magnesium Oxide tablet at 10:30PM before going to bed. They're supposed to be taken with food, but I'd forgotten to take it...so I downed it. I felt lousy all night with it. I probably would have done better to throw it up and start over the next day. But I was determined to not have to report that I'd done THAT to anyone.

Worried that it might be GVHD (since I've started engrafting,) I called Chris, a friend I've recently made who prays over the phone and lives here in Houston. We prayed and I realized as we were praying that I didn't have anything serious going on. My team at MDA confirmed this. Mg tablets are my best way to break away from having to come in for IV infusions. But everybody has good days and bad days from taking them.

By 2PM or so, I was feeling fine. I'm sure it was a mix if prayer and an Ativan. It evening now, though, all the meds I would have taken to lessen the nausea are done. But I still feel excellent. I ate a RATHER ROBUST dinner that mom so kindly made for me.

I had an experience of God these last few days. I've been inspired by the Holy Spirit to read a verse I felt I'd been given back in the early days of my return from the first transplant. The verse was about Hezikiah, a king of Judah in the book of Isaiah who was healed from a skin condition that threatened his life. Interestingly, God used medicines and a treatment to heal him.

Of course, you may remember that from my experience with Ruth Reid I ascertained the same word concerning my healing through this transplant procedure. She, too, was healed of breast cancer (20 year-survivor...so far) by an aggressive treatment she received while in Argentine. Her belief is that God brought to that place in that time so she could receive the most progressive treatment possible. It was not easy...for she had to be for a time separated from Michael, her husband...just as I am separated from Kirk.

To add to this experience, early Monday morning I awoke at 4:30AM unable to go back to sleep. I turned on the television and there was Beth Moore (a bible study writer I've been told to check out many times) touting her most recent study. The show touched me, as the guest and hosts, The Robinson, shared parallel experiences with depression as I have experienced in my life.

The next day I found one of Beth Moore's books called Breaking Away. In the first chapter, to my amazement, there was the story of Hezikiah. Beth Moore noted, as did I, that this was an example of a king healed by God's intervention in a medical procedure.

That was a very wonderful confirmation for me concerning my choice to go on with the 2nd translant. And things are going well with it. I am probably going to get my 1st weekend off! That does not usually happen sooner than the first month. I am only two weeks into the procedure, so I am pleased with my rapid progress. Especially pleased and thankful to the Lord from making things go so well.

There are many things to be thankful for these days. Renee, an old friend who has a rare form of lymphoma that presents itself in an itchy rash, is finding her "dark splotches" lightening with every dose of the trial med she is taking. Praise God! Please pray for her to begin feeling warm again...she is cold all the time...and to remove the terrible night itch.

Also, a man at my mom's work who was in an unconscious state because of a stomach ulcer gone bad woke up today. He is now his old self, laughing and making jokes. I am so glad for him!

Chris and I decided to re-schedule until next Tuesday, since that is when it will be just me and Jacob. I look forward to getting to meet her.

Please pray that my counts will continue to rise...especially my Magnesium. It fluctuates and, as a result, I must continue taking the Mg infusions and tablets, which upset my stomach, make me hot all over and give me a brief but distressing rash. It is a common side effect of Cyclosporine to have a reduction, which can become serious, of electrolytes. Being low on Mg also feels bad...leg cramps, soreness, inability to relax my muscles...etc. I want none of this...so please pray.

An Update on Father's Day

I felt as if something changed last night while I was sleeping. Like I started engrafting with Lisa's cells. It was a good feeling. My counts were the same as far as Magnesium and WB goes, but other things are rising nicely. I felt a bit of a rash, but it was from the Magnesium. It heats my body and I get a heat rash.

It's Father's Day and I've been playing Hearts on my computer (a new discovery) for much of the day. I'm done with my treatment for the day. Mom went to see Aunt Daphne while I infused.

A Good Day

Today is good day. My Magnesium went up finally...about 1/10 of a point to 1.6! Normal range is 1.8, and, for a while, I seemed to be stuck at 1.4. Mg is important for electrolytes, which are important for a bunch of other reasons electrolytes are important. Other counts went up, too, except for White Blood, which has--as predicted--held to a low point, because of the Cyclosporine (probably.)

Mom is planning to visit Aunt Daphne today. She lives about an hour from here. Kirk will be here Wednesday evening...about the time mom is leaving for Santa Fe. Jacob is doing his final packing for BSA camp. Family "things" are starting to become resolved. Thank you, Jesus!

I'm, of course, writing this from my out patient room on Rose 10. Another 4-hour treatment, then I'm out of here. The weekends are pretty bleak around here...but BORING is good when it comes to this kind of treatment, right? Thank you God for BORING.

I'm going to finish my paper today, so that Kirk can send it to my professor. That will, hopefully, take care of my INCOMPLETE a couple of months before the deadline. It's a good paper and I've had people reading it for errors. I'm glad to be getting it completely done.

I should start engrafting some time tomorrow or next week. Please pray that I'll take Lisa's cells with ease and in accordance with God's will. No GVHD. No complications whatsoever.

Thanks for your prayers so far. They have certainly brought MANY GOOD THINGS into my experience of this treatment.

Explanation

In case you're wondering why I wrote that depressing entry (ie. poem) today, you should first know that, for most of you, it has nothing to do with you. A week before I went home from my autologous transplant, for one reason or another, something happened between members of this family that has yet to be resolved. Sometimes it gets to me and the result is a depressing poem like the one I wrote today. There was a time when I would have apologized for expressions of emotion such as sad poems because I was sure I had offended somebody. Since cancer, I think I'm less concerned about what people think of what I write and this inspires me to let the poem be as it is.

Whatever the case, I wish to make it known to God and everybody that I am really looking forward to the resolution of things surrounding this issue. There's nothing like cancer to make re-evaluation more vocation than fancy. And I have certainly done my share of this heart-wrenching soul-searching that seemed like such a cliche when I encountered it before.

For my part, I feel as if I've done as much as I can. Calls were made and it was satisfying at least in one case. For this I am grateful. The rest is still unresolved and the unquiet in my soul appears once in a while to shake me and say: pray about this, Sherry. For that is all I can do.

It is in God's hands.

However, this last part of my cure--the allogeneic transplant--isn't easy and the longer silence reigns when it should not...the more resolved I become to let people go who once I held so dear. And this makes me sad.

For those of you who continue to stand by me...thank you with all my heart. Your prayers to God has moved Him to take care of me in ways I never dreamed of. You are part of my healing, and, for that, I am grateful. And so blessed. Thank you again.

Summer Quiet

The quiet is sometimes too loud for me.
I turn on the television to hear the sound of voices.
But noise is all I hear.

I scour my e-mails
As if bleaching them will make me smile.
But such chastisement is not within me.

I long to bring people within my skin
By some Spirit-driven power
Give insight to my situation. But it belies inspiration.

Where are the friendly voices I once heard so often?
Have they abandoned me
When abandonment cannot be forgotten?

Yes and yes. There can be no other answer.
I thank God for the time
When I can hear only His voice

Because so many others are silent.

A Lot of Waiting

It's a lot waiting in waiting rooms these days, but mom and I find things to do. Mom took the required CVC care classes, so today she could do what is called a DEMO. That means she'll change my dressing in front of a nurse who'll give her the ALL CLEAR for having the honor of changing my dressing. Infusion Therapy requires people to take the class twice so they don't miss anything. I'm hoping we'll be done with my daily infusion of Magnesium Sulfate to go to the DEMO by 3:30PM without having to drag my IV pole along with us.

I am expecting a miracle today...in terms of my levels today. God is going to bring up my Magnesium serum levels today. I can just feel it. My other counts are doing as is customary and normal for someone taking the kinds of medications I'm taking.

I'm so glad mom is here. I know I wouldn't be doing as well as I am if she weren't here. The first month is a lot about being tired and think I would have slept through some important things...like dinner and medications...if mom hadn't been there to wake me up.

Jacob is about to be off for Boy Scout Camp. It should be fun for him. He gets to do a lot of fun things! Like Advanced Sailing! I'm looking forward to seeing him, though. I do miss having my family around me.

It will be great when Kirk can come back to Houston (if only for a visit.) I miss him a lot.

Mom had no trouble extending her flight departure to next Wednesday, so I'm covered until then. Then Kirk comes. Jacob will be here after Boy Scout Camp.

Finally...An Update

It hasn't been because I was too sick. I've actually been feeling pretty good. It hasn't been because I've been too busy. I've had time to write here and there. The reason I haven't written is more about a lack of energy, since I've been hanging out a lot at MD Anderson received Magnesium treatments and getting tired as my counts start getting low. Nothing unusual here. All of this was bound to happen.

It's a great blessing that this week and now that's she's extended it through much of next week, my mom will be here with me. She helps me in so many ways. I really don't know how I'd have made it as well as I have without her. A couple of nights were so tough I crawled in bed with her.

The problem: mainly headaches and a feeling that resembles what an electrical pole must feel when electricity hums up and down it. That is most likely due to my Cyclosporine counts being too high and will soon be remedied. My body gets so warm--almost more of a summer sunburn feeling--when I take Magnesium, so we've had to slow down the infusion quite a bit.

I've had great support from other friends. Especially a new prayer partner I call upon when I can. Sam Stringfield made me an adorable "W" with a sweet message on the back, which has meant so much to me. Randy also gave me something from his trips to Russia. I just love it.

Lisa is back, of course, in New Mexico, happy and healthy. All ill affects from the medication and the CVC they put in her leg (since her veins in her arms were too small). She sounds great. I can't wait to be in Santa Fe again partying and enjoying the beautiful surroundings there. They saw the "tornado" from their house that was shown on CNN this past weekend.

My White Blood Count is steadily going down...though slowly, while my Red count stays the same! Platelets are good. Found out I'm a carrier of something called CMV--a kind of herpes virus that gives you cold sores. That means taking another medication to prevent any outbreaks there.

Otherwise, all seems to be going just fine. I slept very well for the first time in a while last night. Mainly because a praying friend prayed I would.

I have stories about angels I've seen at MD Anderson, but I'll tell those in another blog.

Sunday on the ATC Bed Unit

On Sundays, I receive my treatment on a different floor and section of MD Anderson. The internet connection there was not good and neither was my cell phone connection. Try as I might I could not update my blog or make calls while I was there, but I can now.

Kirk's back in Dallas now, and, by now, he's probably started on the lawn. I shouldn't see him again until Friday. But my mom is here. She's in the kitchen cutting up peaches she's going to cook for me.

I was low in Magnesium again, so the nurse gave me even more to infuse at home. It'll be done soon though. I decided if I was so deficient in Mg I needed to find out what I could eat to boost it. Halibut, almonds and green vegetables. I don't know if I've ever eat Halibut, but I certainly like almonds. I'm going to see what else when I do some more research today. Like I said it was very difficult to do research on the internet from the room I was in today.

Otherwise, I'm still feeling pretty good. My energy is still low, but I'm able to eat really well. I'm keeping the headaches away as well.

When the sun goes down I'm going to try a walk around the park here in the apartment complex. Simple things, but so important.

My First Saturday at Rose 11

I feel better today than I have in weeks. The Cyclosporine was reduced again from 300 MG to 200 MG. My rubin levels were too high, so they decided I was probably taking too much Cyclosporine. No headache today or terrible nausea. Not eating all that much, but what else is new?

Yesterday, I did sleep for most of the day, which makes for some interesting dreams. Sleeping so much makes it hard to distinguish the difference between waking and sleeping. For example, I'll see Martin (my cat) come into the room. He meows. I answer him with my waking voice and realize it was only a dream. This happens over and over again with only the characters and their requests changing. One amazing thing. I don't dream about having cancer any more.

So, at this moment, I'm writing my blog on my bed in the Ambulatory Treatment Center (medical-speak for Outpatient) watching HG TV. A slow IV of Magnesium is dripping into my body because they discovered if they drip it too fast I become so flushed it makes me feel as if I have a sunburn. When that happens I can get a headache. So they slowed it down.

Kirk is reading Memoirs of a Geisha. Yes, it's Saturday and I'm here receiving my treatment. It'll be interesting to see how things go on Sunday.

My mom comes in today at 5PM. I am looking forward to that.

We are still not sure who will be here for me after Mom leaves on the 17th. Or the next week for that matter.

I put my life in God's hands. I know he'll provide.

Cyclosporine Lowered from 350 to 300 Mg

Everything gets a little bit better each day. Threw up only once...still feeling the affects of the radiation. They reduced my Cyclosporine from 350 to 300. Which is nice. That's just two less smelly pills to get down morning and night.

Right now I'm receiving magnisum, which tends to make my skin looked flushed. When I go home I'll take a bath (in our spacious garden tub) and hopefully the redness will be gone. They worry about these things being signs of Graft vs. Host. But I don't think so. It only happens when I'm receiving Mg. My doctors agree with me.

I still feel wonderful today. That knowing beyond knowing that God has healed me. As soon as the nausea passes and I can eat normally, it will almost seem as if this whole experience was just a bad dream.

Praise God.

Cyclosporine Lowered from 350 to 300 Mg

Everything gets a little bit better each day. Threw up only once...still feeling the affects of the radiation. They reduced my Cyclosporine from 350 to 300. Which is nice. That's just two less smelly pills to get down morning and night.

Right now I'm receiving magnisum, which tends to make my skin looked flushed. When I go home I'll take a bath (in our spacious garden tub) and hopefully the redness will be gone. They worry about these things being signs of Graft vs. Host. But I don't think so. It only happens when I'm receiving Mg.

I still feel wonderful today. That knowing beyond knowing that God has healed me. As soon as the nausea passes and I can eat normally, it will almost seem as if this whole experience was just a bad dream.

Praise God.

The Burden of Cancer Is Gone

The day before yesterday was a tough day. I reported to receive total body irradiation. It was nothing. I lay on one side for five minutes. And then on the other side for five. I asked them to put a Christian station on, so I lay there listening to the songs and "thinking about something else" (as they suggested I should.)

As I did, I could think of nothing except what the songs were singing. God's glory and our need to worship him.

When I left I rang a bell in the hall that signaled to everyone that this was my last radiation treatment. Of course, it was also my first. The people in the waiting room applauded me warmly. Then I walked out with Kirk.

Within minutes, I was feeling very sick. A weariness unlike anything I'd ever experienced before came over my body. I was so tired I could hardly speak. Then the nausea. It hit me unexpectedly. I barely made it to the restroom to throw up. Lisa and Kirk were having lunch in the park. They bought me some soup, which I took one look at and ran to throw up again.

I finally decided to get as fast as I could to Apheresis, where I had some hope that they could give e some relief. They did.

By the time I started receiving Lisa's stem cells, I was aching all over (more effects of the radiation.) The nurse I had was Joe and he tried various things to help, but it was pretty much agony until I was able to get home and take a Darvon.

Since the day I took radiation, I feel I've improved considerably. The main and most miraculous difference is that I now wake up every morning free of that terrible cancer burden I had started to feel after the auto transplant. I wake up and no matter how nauseated or headachy, I feel a wonderful sense of God's glory. I am at peace and this is what God promised I would have when I spoke to the Reids. I just didn't expect that the main part of my peace would come AFTER receiving the transplant.

But it is a difference that is so good and pure it never dissipates as I go through my morning routine. Making a cup of hot tea, reading e-mails, and talking to Kirk, if he's not already busy with a call. I feel for the first time that the cancer is gone.

I know God has healed me. I liken it to knowing that Kirk was the man I wanted to marry. I just knew that he was the perfect one for me. And it certainly has turned out that way. We've been married now 8 years. Much of those years I know were good because of Kirk's unfailing kindness and love toward me. I am so blessed.

Allogeneic Transplant Day

Kirk and I are sitting with Lisa in Apheresis as I'm writing this. Lisa's reading The Memory Keeper's Daughter, and Kirk is eating an apple while playing with his Blackberry. Just joking. He's actually only eating his apple right now.

Lisa's giving her stem cells...feeling good. No pain meds were necessary for her since 8PM last night. That's good because sometimes the Neupogen can make you feel rather achy. I have a slight headache, but it is really quite manageable. No nausea. I even ate a regular breakfast. Not too large, just something to put on my stomach to avoid stomach upset from the Cyclosporine.

I received a very nice CD of bible verses from Janice yesterday, but haven't had the chance to listen to them yet. I know I will sometime today. Thank you, Janice!

At 11AM, Kirk and I will go over to Radiation. I'll take radiation, then, if Lisa is finished in Apheresis, we'll all find something to eat for lunch. Then, I'll take the transplant here in Apheresis at 1PM or 2PM.

Thanks to all of you for your prayers. I am feeling quite calm now because of God's grace and mercy. Your prayers have been instrumental in this, and I do appreciate it very much.

Hanging Out at Rose 10

The CVC insertion (both Lisa's and mine) went well, as I knew it would. Kirk is wheeling Lisa over to the Rotary, since she is done with Apheresis. (She had a Darvon right at the end to help with some bone pain she was just starting to have.) So I'm here outside of the allogeneic clinic waiting for them to take me to a room. Then I will start a four-hour infusion of something to make tomorrow easier.

Tomorrow is a quick radiation treatment. About 1/30 the amount given to most breast cancer patients. But it may make me nauseated. I'm believing that it won't.

I heard good news from Renee today. The trial medicine she has been taking for almost 2 weeks is really starting to work. Her skin is getting lighter and she is very hopeful that it will continue to heal her as it has other MF patients she's met. One has been taking it only one month and she no longer experiences "the cold" and her itch is considerably less. Praise God is all I can say. I am so happy for her!

Tomorrow is the big day. Lisa did so well today, she may not need to give any more cells tomorrow. I do radiation and take her cells (ie. get the bone marrow transplant) tomorrow.

Mom arrives this Saturday and will say the week, so that Kirk can go back to work. Since we don't have anyone for the week after she leaves and I am likely to be a bit "wonky" still, Kirk may have to come back. That is, unless someone else can take over those four days of the week of the 16th. Whatever that Monday is. I don't have my calendar right in front of me.

Shopping and Fun

Today Lisa and I went shopping at the Galleria. We got so busy enjoying ourselves that we didn't realize what time it was. Kirk had to call to tell us he'd arrived in Houston. We were already on our way back to the hotel...so it was okay. Only a short lapse of time really.

It is so good to have Kirk here. Both Lisa and I have appointments tomorrow for catheter insertions. Kirk will be our caregiver. Thank goodness they had the sense to schedule these procedures at different times.

I go to Rose 10 (the floor where MDA does all the allogeneic transplants) also tomorrow and start a four hour infusion to prepare me for radiation on Tuesday. After radiation, then I'll receive Lisa's cells.

The apartment is available at 3PM tomorrow, so we'll start moving in there. But maybe not until Tuesday. It just may be easier to stay at the hotel another night. We'll see.

We were able to get the adjoining room here at the hotel for Kirk and I, but it's not available another night. The room that Lisa and I have had for a week, however, IS still reserved until Wednesday.

Lisa's got a few small aches and pains from the Neupogen. I'm doing okay from the Cyclosporine. My feet started hurting a little today after walking the mall, but I wasn't wearing my running shoes. Just my converse. So that may be the reason. They feel pretty okay now. We came back to the room and watched the movie Office Space. What a funny movie! And I've seen it many times already.

I've got to go take my 10PM meds. All's well at this time and I don't see any reason for that to change.

A Quieter Day

Lisa has one appointment today at noon with Infusion Therapy. Yesterday it was determined that the veins in her arms are too small, so they'll probably insert a shunt or something in a larger vein. More on this later.

We both started medications for the first time this morning. I started Cyclosporine, and Lisa started Neupogen shots. We prayed over both medicines. At this point, we're both working on our laptops until the appointment.

We were going to drive to Seabrook to visit with Denise, a friend I've known since Middle School. But the noon appointment postpones things a bit. Also, I thought we wouldn't start any new medications until Saturday morning. Since we started this morning, though it's not likely, we have to think about how we might feel physically.

I set the Cyclosporine out on the window sill in a bowl, as another trial patient recommended. She's a nurse and noticed that letting the pills "air out" diminished the bad smell they have and helped reduce any stomach upset.

The bone marrow biopsy yesterday was my first with sedation. I woke up with a headache...probably because I could not drink after midnight. Also, Houston takes some getting used to with all the mold and pollution in the air. I felt as if the Holy Spirit came before the procedure and took away my headache. I ended up not having to take anything for it by the time they came to set up my IV.

Last night, Lisa and I went to the Hobbit Cafe. I had a great egg salad platter with some greens, since Cathy and the other doctors said I could have a salad before going back to not eating raw vegetables and fruits. We bought t-shirts at the Hobbit Cafe. Lisa's has Thorin Oakenshield and mine has Gandalf. They are my favorite kind of t-shirt. The kind with the cap sleeves and on the small side. I call it "baby doll," but you get my drift.

We have some movies we're going to watch. Stuff like Charlie's Angels, Sideways and 13 Going on 30. We watched Blast From the Past earlier this week. It was really funny. I'd never seen it before. It tickled me.