Explanation

In case you're wondering why I wrote that depressing entry (ie. poem) today, you should first know that, for most of you, it has nothing to do with you. A week before I went home from my autologous transplant, for one reason or another, something happened between members of this family that has yet to be resolved. Sometimes it gets to me and the result is a depressing poem like the one I wrote today. There was a time when I would have apologized for expressions of emotion such as sad poems because I was sure I had offended somebody. Since cancer, I think I'm less concerned about what people think of what I write and this inspires me to let the poem be as it is.

Whatever the case, I wish to make it known to God and everybody that I am really looking forward to the resolution of things surrounding this issue. There's nothing like cancer to make re-evaluation more vocation than fancy. And I have certainly done my share of this heart-wrenching soul-searching that seemed like such a cliche when I encountered it before.

For my part, I feel as if I've done as much as I can. Calls were made and it was satisfying at least in one case. For this I am grateful. The rest is still unresolved and the unquiet in my soul appears once in a while to shake me and say: pray about this, Sherry. For that is all I can do.

It is in God's hands.

However, this last part of my cure--the allogeneic transplant--isn't easy and the longer silence reigns when it should not...the more resolved I become to let people go who once I held so dear. And this makes me sad.

For those of you who continue to stand by me...thank you with all my heart. Your prayers to God has moved Him to take care of me in ways I never dreamed of. You are part of my healing, and, for that, I am grateful. And so blessed. Thank you again.