Last night, I spent an hour or so looking for the notes I had already compiled last Fall for a paper on Elizabeth Barrett Browning's epic poem Aurora Leigh. Then I skimmed through the books I'd collected on the subject that I'd been able to keep all these months. I found print-outs of my prospectus and an important three-page article that had caused me to consider the topic in the first place. On my computer, I found websites and articles I had saved there months ago.
But it wasn't until today when I spent most of the day today writing the paper that things started coming together for me. Though I was able to hammer out only two pages in several hours, it didn't bother me. That's because I was working out what I would propose and support in the paper as I proceeded to the conclusion.
At one point, I'd come to that all important moment in the writing of a paper when you realize that you've got more research to do. But I keep getting this feeling that I've actually already done the research, since it seems to me that I haven't found all my notes. I'm hoping this is true, as I'll be searching my computer for bits of tucked away notes and saved articles.
What's most interesting to me is that I made a discovery about myself as I was working on this project. I found out that many of the opinions I once held without really thinking about them were no longer ones I could support without question. I found myself questioning sweeping statements made by the professors and scholars who write the articles and books I consider as material to be included in my paper. Not that I'd accepted without thinking the statements these people were making before, I just didn't always know with clarity my reasons for questioning them.
To see my own critical perspective solidifying is very good, since it gives me the ability to be rather opinionated. And being opinionated is good when seeking a Ph.D. You've got to know where you stand.
For example, today I found an article entitled "Covert Appropriations of Shakespeare: Three Case Studies." Since my paper is about E. Barret Browning's use of the Shakespearean sonnet in Aurora Leigh and the article argues that Barrett Browning's poetry is an example of covert appropriation, I decided to read the article. Now this was an article that previously I would have considered carefully because of its bravery. I've always admired bravery in academia. But as I read the article it became clear to me that the title of the article was pure sensationalism. The writer had entitled the article to draw in readers, but had backed away from actually arguing his claim by the end of the article. I don't think I would have seen this as clearly before.
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